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26 hours, people, let’s go!
Sometimes it feels like I lose all control, like I’m lost in darkness.
Thinking about it now scares me, because I’m not sure what I’m capable of doing at that point. To stop it completely. What i would to at that point to ease the pain, that is a scary thought.
“I bled myself into wine glasses so I could pretend that the light-headed feeling was euphoria instead of dying from the inside out. The more I sipped, the more the world just melted away, just what I wanted.
— lonelyiswhatweare (me)
The marks you left on my are fading now. The little symbols that once lined my neck and back to show that I was yours and no one else’s are turning a putrid yellow and dulling back to my skin’s natural color. I pray that this is a dream and I can pretend to be embarrassed about the violet necklace your teeth leave behind.
As the light feeling spreads from my fingers to my head to my vision, I dream of the nights when this kind of bliss was caused by your company and not a mix of blood and alcohol.
What would you say to my pale, unmarked skin and my special wine? Or would you even notice my absence now?”
There are few worse feelings than knowing that one person has the power to really hurt you. When the thought of your life without that one person in it seems dull, and when you can’t even remember how you felt before that person became a significant part of your life. When you feel completely and totally vulnerable and in love and it feels amazing and exciting but then also completely terrifying because that is how you know that you have everything to lose.